Why Do Couples Fight?
I've taken a bit of a hiatus the last couple months with this blog but I am excited to get back to sending these out more regularly. Perhaps it's the new Spring energy.
Today I want to talk to you about the number one issue couples come to me wanting to change - how to stop fighting.
Fighting in relationships can be exhausting, defeating, and decrease satisfaction in the relationship so it's understandable we would want this to change.
But did you know it's actually a GOOD thing that you fight? Of course, there's a difference between healthy and unhealthy fighting - using kind language, respect, and not tearing down - but the fact the you are fighting means you're at least communicating to a certain extent and that's actually a great starting point.
Part of the problem is that our mindset is not on how to repair after a fight. Instead, our mindset is usually "How do we fight less?" and rarely "How do we make up after a fight?" Every relationship goes through phases of harmony, disharmony, and repair. The repair is essential to getting back into harmony.
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Here are three ways you can change the fighting dynamic in your relationship
Use kind language - name calling, cursing, cutting down, and physical aggression have no place in a healthy relationship.
Readdress the fight - once tempers have cooled and you are in a better place, readdress the topic on the following day during your best time.
Adjust your mindset on frequency of fights - the frequency of how often you fight really has very little to say about the quality of your relationship. The important thing is that you repair and communicate.
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In my most recent podcast episode I talk more about this dynamic and this specific skill. I'd love for you to listen.
Click here to give it a listen
